easy to love

I'm finally sitting down in my living room on my most favorite Ikea purchase after a week and a half whirlwind in Arizona!  I missed this ol' place! The heaters are on full blast, everything is unpacked, Winsley is taking a super late nap, and the kitchen is stocked. It feels a little bit different and somehow things have already changed here so much since we've been gone.  I look out my kitchen window and can see the street below instead of those orange trees that blocked my view.  It looks and feels soo cold, the sky is gray, and the trees are almost completely bare.  A lot different from Arizona.  I have to admit I was a little homesick for the desert when we first got there because I haven't had a true winter in years and I've been freezing in Washington!  I try to remind myself Arizona winters aren't normal and most of the country will be freezing until April, just like me!

On the last Saturday we were in Arizona Dayton had a work Christmas party to go to.  During the awards portion of the night they gave out gifts to the managers and little recognitions.  When Dayton was called up he was given his award and the owner told Dayton's story with the company.  He prefaced what he was about to say with, "Sorry man, this tribute might get a little weird."  He loves Dayton alot.  I squeezed Dayton's hand tight as the owner told everyone that with a baby in and out of surgery, starting this new office completely on his own, being away from his family for months, Dayton never complained.  I barely know what struggles Dayton faced at work then, and even now, because he always wants to make sure I feel secure.  But as Josh, the owner, exaplained how difficult starting this office was I began to realize what Dayton has been keeping to himself.  As I listened I couldn't believe he was talking about Dayton, about our family.  We really went through that?  It seems so long ago and I remember the really difficult nights of not having him there but hearing it be repeated outloud was unreal.  I know that is part of what made it so special when Winnie and I finally moved up here.  We were so sick of being away from eachother that even if I wasn't close to my Mom, or his mom, or my friends I wasn't about to let him out of my sight for anything.  There was one night during that time when we had to take Winnie to the ER after surgery.  Dayton was helpeless, thousands of miles away, and couldn't be with his baby.  As the protector of your family what has that got to feel like?  I just can't even imagine.  At the end of the night I leaned over to Dayton and whispered, "How can I not be in love with you?!"

Early on in our marriage I committed to myself to make sure Dayton was always the number one priority.  I wanted to set an example for my children that a family is nothing without a strong marriage to back it up.  I wanted to have a marriage where the parents kiss in the middle of a late movie just because, have inside jokes with eachother, and play like kids.  I wanted a marriage where date night with Mom was at the top of to do list for the weekend and that Dad has the final say.  I wanted my children to know they can be as cute as a button, but Dad is always cuter.   I wanted them to know that I would pack his lunch, iron his dress shirts, and dish his dinner up for him because I was grateful he worked hard for us.  I wanted my children to know that I would work hard to stay in love.  It isn't always easy when your children have more urgent needs than date night.   Sometimes the promises I made to myself take a little more concious effort but after three years I feel like the marriage I wanted my kids to look up to is what I've got.  When I heard Josh describe Dayton I was so proud.  Honestly, never been so proud.  And I could see in his eyes how grateful he was for everything said too.  He takes every bad and good thing in stride. He's so easy to love in that way.