Winsley's birth

Finally!  I've tried like 8 times to sit down and write this haha.  I am not going to give a play by play of the whole labor and delivery but the key points that hold a special place in my little mommy heart.  My birth went exactly how I would have hoped.  We brought our Winsley into the world together.  Yeah, I was the one in labor and going through the pain but I truly could not have done it without Dayton.

I gave birth to Winsley naturally and it's an experience I hold dear.  (Except the day after she was born I wouldn't let anyone talk about my labor because I felt like I could still feel that pain! haha)  I've never felt so accomplished or proud of myself, ever.  There are a few things that helped me get through it.  La maz classes were worth it to us.  Every penny.  As I began to feel myself going through labor I called on Dayton immediately to help me get through contractions the way we learned.  I labored at home for a while and no offense to my sister and mom who helped count when Dayton had to step away from me for any time, but they just didn't know how to count like Dayton did!  He thought of different ways to help me relax and breathe that I would have never thought of.  He always told me how proud he was of me and instilled confidence that I could get through it.

Winsley was positioned weird that put me into back labor and while I dont know any different, it was really painful.  Being on the hospital bed was so horrible so my favorite thing was walking and being on the exercise ball.  We got turned away early that morning and they told us to go walk to progress more.  So we walked around Target and made a scene haha.  I distracted myself with walking the aisles and window shopping.  When I felt a contraction coming we would sneak into an empty aisle and starting counting breathes.  We got a few congratulations and "Uh what's going on?!" haha.  But all that walking worked wonders and gave relief to my back.

I talked myself through every contraction.  I would sort of pump myself up.  I realized that the worst part of a contraction was the first 45 seconds then after the peak it was downhill from there.  During those 45 seconds I would be screaming in my head "I'm getting an epidural I'm getting an epidural.  There's no way I can do this again".  In between contractions I somehow forgot how horrible the pain was and got my strength back to be positive.  I would talk outloud to Dayton and say "Just one more. I just have to get through this one and then I never have to do THAT one ever again."  That helped me so much to just take it one contraction at a time.

How I got through pushing I don't even know!  It was what I was most scared of with out being medicated.   At that point, I wanted to give up so bad.  When they told me to push the thought of getting an epidural actually crossed my mind.  haha I was shaking so hard during contractions I knew I could never hold still enough for that needle to go through my back.  They were so painful towards the end I felt like I was losing my mind.  I didn't feel like me and I couldn't focus.  They kept coming faster and faster that I didn't have time to relax or catch my breathe.  It felt like I pushed forever, even though it was only like 30 minutes, I felt every single one and I'm glad it didn't last a minute longer than that.

When she finally came out I was so relieved.  All that pain and work was over!  I don't know if other people have felt this way but it took me a few hours to really connect with Winsley at first.  I had just gone through the most pain I've ever experienced, I was exhausted, and there was so much happening.  The chaos of people getting their first peek at our little girl,  moving rooms, getting instructions from the nurses, and trying to bond with Wins was alot to take in.  The madness was short lived though and we finally got settled in our post op room at 330am.  I started nursing her with Dayton next to us on the couch and I just balled in that quiet dark room.  I have a little family?!  We brought her into the world and were so ready to be her parents.  She's has the sweetest and strongest spirit I've ever felt.  I had never felt more grateful.

So now, after two weeks of having her in our home we're still just as in love!  We fight over her all the time.  She'll be sleeping for a while and I'll start to turn on the lights and get ready to wake her up and Dayton says "What are you doing?" and I look at him knowing I'm caught and am like "uhhh she wants to wake up!!!" but he knows all too well that I just want to play with her. haha.  I love when Dayton texts me "I'm coming home to my girls!!".  He gets home from work and there's nothing that can take his eyes off her.  I feel so lucky to have those two in my life.